First steps on the road

I spent 32 years as a single person. For about 19 of those years, I yearned to be with someone. To be in a couple. To know what it's like to crawl into bed with someone, put my head on their chest and reflect on the day. I wanted to feel love, of course, and lust, but more than anything I hungered for companionship. 

I remembered Mike and Carol Brady, each assuming their side in the Brady Master Bedroom. This is what I thought marriage was all about: the moment at the end of each day where you rest your bones next to this other person who knows you as well as, maybe even better than, yourself. 

I'll never forget a conversation I had right after I graduated from college and moved into my first apartment on my own. I was living in Burlington, VT, had worked my butt off to earn a great job and find a nice studio apartment. I was talking on the phone with someone who asked me: "now what?" to which I replied "I guess... find a husband?"

10 years later, I did.

And it's a little more complex than the "Mike and Carol" reality set up for me by hours upon hours of tuning into The Brady Bunch. I'm learning, as I go, that there is a ROAD TO WE. It's not just a stop on the way to life. It is life and it requires, and will continue to require, effort. And so does everything we love. 

Somewhere along the line I've realized that marriage is a living, breathing part of our lives. A husband is not something I find and then the box is checked. My husband, Josh, is his own person AND a huge part of who I am, but not all. 

This blog is my attempt to be in conversation with myself (and whoever else would like to play along) about this ROAD TO WE. It's a bit like a Travel Blog for Relationships: my relationship with myself, my relationship with my husband, my relationship with my stepson, my relationships with family and friends.

Please join me on my travels and I would encourage you to share yours as well!